Exhaling Into Simple

Sleep does not come easy for many of us.  So I am not going to suggest that sleeping is a simple activity.  However, we can create simple bedtime rituals to help the body-mind-spirit prepare for sleep.  As mentioned above, we cannot control the outcome or force a solution, but we can show up to the practice and allow space for transformation to occur.

Getting ready for bed, especially if we expect not to sleep well can be anxiety provoking.  Going to bed when we are tired can be difficult for those of us with children or other household members that need attention.  The idea of sleeping when we perceive the world to be falling apart might feel lazy or irresponsible.  I assure you, sleeping, along with feeding ourselves well,  is the most responsible thing we can do for ourselves and all of those with whom we engage and care for.  And also, the reality of our lives are just that, reality.  Do the best you can, one exhale at a time, and keep it simple.

I turn my phone ringer off around 7pm most nights.  This might change some as we move into summer, but not much.  Sometimes I'll make a phone date with someone in the evening or randomly call a friend in an earlier time zone, but I don't usually take unplanned calls after 7pm.  This phone free time allows to me engage with other things and begins to calm the nervous system.  Maybe I am cleaning up from dinner or possibly eating it.  I might read or wrap up some to-do list items from the day.  In the summer, I will often go for an evening walk, especially when the moon is out.  For folks who need to be available to potentially urgent calls, you can use the do not disturb features on your phone and allow some calls to come in while other don't, or screen calls if you have a landline with answering machine.  We all have different needs and responsibilities, and the essence of this can be adapted to suit them.

Dimming the lights as the sun sets is another simple way to prepare the body for sleep.  Having the lights dim offers a container of calm as we move closer to bed.  Sometimes I will spend several hours doing things with dimmer lighting (especially in the winter).  Having the lights dim affects what I engage in, which tends to be less active, offering the qualities of slow, rest, pause, and simplicity.  From here, I invite you clean your mouth, shower, and/or put on bed time clothing.  If you need to prepare anything for an early start to the next day, slowly get those things together in the dimness of the cozy home space so you will not feel rushed upon waking.

I am a list maker.  I make lists because this brain moves fast, and it is impossible for me to remember all these great ideas!  I also make lists so that I don't have to continue to think about them incessantly.  If you are a list maker, you know that list making can go from organized and helpful to an overwhelming pile of papers and lists for the lists.  When the to-do list gets too long, I feel overwhelmed and am unlikely to look at it.  Or I look at it and then avoid everything on it until things start to crumble around me.

Exhale into simple.  What are the tings that need to get done today or this week?  Are any of these things actually necessary?  What are the needs and what are the wants?  Sometimes these questions feel simple and supportive.  Sometimes things are too far from simple to be able to deal with the questions.  When that is the case I do one of two things.  I either do whatever is at the top of the list, or I pick the one that I most want to ignore.

The key here, is to do just that one thing.  I do not allow myself to wonder if it actually makes more sense to do this other item on the list first.  I do not allow myself to think about what I will do when I complete whatever it is I am starting with.  I do not even entertain the idea of doing more than one thing in this moment.  Whether I pick the first thing on the list or the thing I most want to ignore, I take a few slow breaths, exhaling into simple, and move forward.  And I repeat this as often as needed until the task is done.

Depending on the activity or task, I may also need to simplify how I approach it.  When I feel unable or am avoiding writing, for example, I gently make myself sit down and write.  I can write anything, but I must write something.  From there, whatever comes comes.  If it's house cleaning, I pick one area and focus just on the simplicity of wiping out the bathroom sink.  No more, nor less, one breath at a time.  When it comes to something that feels really big, like securing housing before I need to move again or figuring out how I will be able to afford said housing, I send one email or look at one website.  No more, no less.  One simple step at a time.

There will always be things to do.  If that is true, then the only thing I can do is to slowly plod along with intention and allow myself to alternate rest with activity.  Things really do fall into place when I exhale into simplicity rather than create illusionary impasses.  This is true for my personal to-do list as well as the larger scale work of community care.  I get to choose how ot engage with the to-do list.  I can see it as a fact of life or as a burden, either way, it is my attitude that makes the difference.